


Only Love Can Hurt Like This

by synonym4life



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Angst, Drabble, M/M, i just needed to get the angst out people
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-27
Updated: 2017-10-27
Packaged: 2019-01-25 06:49:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12525472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/synonym4life/pseuds/synonym4life
Summary: I can’t stand this cold from you. Not when you’re the one who warms me when the rest of the world is freezing.





	Only Love Can Hurt Like This

**Author's Note:**

> I literally just wrote this because I missed writing angst and had to get it out because my fluffy fic writing wasn't working. Angst was getting in the way. I'm posting it here because I don't totally hate it.
> 
> The drabble was heavily inspired by Paloma Faith's song Only Love Can Hurt Like This, which is also featured in the title. I've been listening to the song on repeat and it gave me some feels.

I tell myself that I don’t care when your lips don’t even quirk with recognition as our eyes meet across the hall. They used to. They used to jeer and laugh and mock. I’m not even privy to that anymore. I want it. Anything. Anything but this. This indifference. This cold. Anything but the cold. Not when the same lips burn their way across my skin at night.

I tell myself that I don’t care when your eyes glide carelessly over mine as we face each other on the pitch. They used to tell me everything. They used to glint with challenge, shine with glee.They’re empty now. Anything but this. This emptiness. This cold. Not when they burn with desire as we press our bodies flush together during the chilly castle nights. I can’t stand this cold from you. Not when you’re the one who warms me when the rest of the world is freezing.

I tell myself I don’t even like you. You’re exactly the kind of person I despise. Selfish, contemptuous, hateful. You don’t like people and people don’t like you. And you are never sorry. You never regret anything. Not the spiteful things you say. Not the disgusting things you do. Except us. You regret us. And that is why I despise you.

I despise you.

But then, why does it hurt so much? Why is my soul being swallowed by a chasm of pain? Why is my heart hammering itself into shards of glass that pierce my body from the inside? Why do I ache, why do I scream, why do I hurt  _if I don’t care?_

Only love can hurt like this.

Only love can make you feel as if your heart will shred itself to pieces with wanting so much. Only love can make your chest collapse, deflate completely, suffocating you with desire, unable to take another breath. Only love can make your eyes sting hot and cold at once. Sting as if whipped by a freezing wind in a flaming room. All because you can’t admit you want me too.

And then you tell me. You tell me one night.

You never tell me anything. But you tell me this.

_I don’t want to hurt anymore._

And I know. I know your heart is ripping itself apart too. I know your chest is heaving too. I know your eyes are hot with tears. 

Because you love me.

Because only love can hurt like this.


End file.
